Ok first off i would just like to say i love seeing my atheist and Christan friends discussing stuff and getting to be a part of it. That is alot of fun and makes my day.
Next id like to address what i meant when i said i was feeling anti-social last night. I just felt that way because there was noone to talk to and i was in my own world thinking about stuff. That and i felt really lonely like i have been lately. One of the things i was thinking about was would all those who signed my year book the senior one and maybe the next junior one with all the love and stuff would they be that nice if i had came out as an atheist during my junior year. I really dont know maybe maybe not im not sure. I was also thinking the other day that maybe if mom and dad had wanted me to have one from every year of school i could have got one that maybe they should have been kept somewhere other then my home. Because once that home burned down so did all my yearbooks and the sigantures from over the years. But anyway i didnt know it was gonna happen so whatever. But needless to say if it like the response ive gotten when i first came out noone would have signed it..and if they did it would not have been very nice. As a matter of fact one of the girls who signed it my senior year and i think had said love whoever the person was..and said nice things about me well they wouldnt even add me on here after i came out as an atheist.
Note: i will not be saying names when i talk about a couple of convos i had and my thoughts on them.
So then that rolls into the convo i had with someone the other day.
Where someone said the lord gets them thorough helps them have strength and reminds her that she is meant to be alive. Now although ik that you can get through that stuff or have it without a god/lord/jesus i can see her pint also. And honestly alteast as far the emotional strength thing goes ive been looking for a way to get it back and aint found it yet. Does that mean im gonna turn to the Christian god that is supposedly real? No im not but i do need help with emotional strength. As far as the alive part goes if i was supposed to be dead i would be dead.
She also asked me:
"But where's the faith, the hope, the purpose.. If you believe we were put here to die & melt into the earth. Your theory states we don't even have souls. so tell me, Jamie, without a soul how do you wonder? How do you hurt? Or miss, or love? How??"
btw the person that said those two things is one of my bestest friends ever. and her fiance is also.
Well i really guess the faith left me when i became an atheist and start looking at life realistically instead of through an emotional/god lenses. Though it may have been before then i really cant answer that question. The hope well i really dont know either. I guess i maybe have some hope that im gonna wake up or be successful or have friends from day-to-day. The purpose that is the hardest one for me to answer cause idk what my purpose in life is. I aint figured out that yet. I aint even figured out the purpose of living yet. I do know this you can hurt, miss, and love without a soul. And one more thing that is not my theory.
She is wrong about another thing though she said faith is not a decision its a felling. I have to disagree with that.
So i messaged someone else and this someone else is a christian and has at times in my life been like a second mom to me. And i said "im sry i disagree with you on religion" because it is hard to disagree with someone like that on something. and she says this "JAMIE God created you with a purpose in mind. HE is a parent. When a child misbehaves he is punished but when he is good he is rewarded. Our father has prepared a wonderful home for those of us who love him."
Well then there goes my free will and here comes that god's master plan thing again. Im sry you cant have it both ways either we have free will or this "god" (if he was real) has a plan for us and there really is no point in doing anything. Yeah i agree those who misbehave should be punished (like religious freaks). And as far as the home comment goes i dont have anything to say about that.
Then she goes on to say "He sent his own son to die so that you and i may have a wonderful life. He loves you and doesnt want you to have to live with corruption and evil."
Well what kind of loving father says son please dies for all these people so they can be saved. That just sounds really messed up to me. Oh he loves me huh? that why according to you he created me with two bad ankles which have been twisted and sprained more times then i can count. And made it where i have to be very careful cause they are so weak they could break anytime. Thats why he supposedly made me drown when i was young or wreck a 4wheller twice one seriously burning my leg. (im ok now btw). That is why he made my house burn down and take all those yearbooks with all my memories and signatures from all my closest friends away. (see above if you dont know what im talking about) Thats why eh gave my dad cancer and then caused the fire so he could die. Thats why he took away all three of the closest friends i ever had who were like sisters to me (two of which are your daughters and one of which might as well be your daughter) And i could go on and on about this part but i wont.
Note: in the above ik i caused some of the stuff like nearly drowning, wrecking the 4-wheeler twice, or losing my three closest friends i ever had and who might as well have been my sisters) i was just pointing out the flaws in her arugement or appeal that god loves me by using examples from my own life. Cause if hes an all powerful god and has a plan for us and really did do all that then that sounds like the most unloving god ive ever heard of. ans i also know genetics and other bad things caused some of the stuff above not god if there was one.
And god doesnt want me to live with corruption and evil huh? Well if he is all powerful why doesnt he just stop it? and also if you would do your research online and look up who killed more int he bible god or Satan you would find that god killed alot more than Satan. Im just saying. As far as whos more evil he sent satan who if i remember correctly was originally an angel in gods kingdom (according to the bible). I think he got sent out of heaven supposedly just because he did something that god or jesus didnt agree with. So id have to say that makes god mroe evil by a logn shot oh i didn't agree with you haha so im gonna kick you out heaven and send you to hell (yeah nice loving god huh?)
Note: if someone can correct me thatll be fine. Im just saying what i think i remember happened.
By the way if you mentioned in this note and know who you are then please know im not trying to attack you or anything just giving you my response to stuff you said now that ive thought about it.
I love feed back on these notes so leave me some please especially if your tagged.
Thanks,
peace, love, and happiness to all
-Jamie G.
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